A Christmas to Forget
by Turtle-chan in Blue
Summary: You can't put a price on humiliation. A nutcracker fail.


**I do not own Bleach. If I did, then Eminem would be rapping the intro. :D**

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Sitting backstage watching the entire play/dance preformed in front of him, was not something he wanted to do.

Him, the great Hitsugaya-taicho, icy captain of the tenth division, was the one who planned this?

When hell froze over, and no he did not use Hyourinmaru.

He guesses this began back in Kurosaki's place, discussing Christmas, and the next thing you know there's a huge production on the twisted version of the nutcracker under his name.

Giving his fukutaicho a month of paperwork wasn't gonna solve this one.

But still, this was under his name, why was he here watching everything from the side and not from the audience?

It was simple; he didn't want to be seen.

Somehow Renji and Ikkaku were the ones chosen for the incredibly unimportant task of managing the lights.

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_Camera lights, wire, and wooden support beams: $600_

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He did not know who chose them (even though he had a pretty good idea) or did he want to know.

Whatever fight or argument they are on this time should be fought out of the public eye.

And Yumichika, why in the world was there an angle part for him?

He doesn't sing for all he heard, or dance, or anything else, but he was supposed to say a few words before the play.

The taicho bets that within those few words are gonna have the word 'beautiful'.

It was Yumichika's thing, his only descriptive word.

And the angel part, why did it involve him being suspended in the air?

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_Angel costume: $30_

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The dancers were starting to line up now.

They ranged all different sizes and shape but only one person had elegance.

Stupid nobles.

Of course only Rukia bothered to take Ballet lessons so she was the only one with experience.

Stupid nobles.

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_Ballet lessons: $500_

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And thus with the events leading up to this, the shortest girl shinigami became the lead dancer.

Byakuya must have bribed someone.

And the weirdest part of all of this? Where was Matsumoto filming everything?

She was actually gonna dance.

Yeah, it went that far.

Toushirou took a fleeting look at the dances, and suddenly felt sorry for them.

It seemed as if he was the only one who could tell that this was gonna wind up failing.

Maybe he could trip one of them and they won't have to live through the humiliation.

But it was too late, no time for tripping people; they were heading out.

Meanwhile, Renji and Ikkaku were up and above everything where the lights were.

Apparently they were still in level with the second floor, so everyone could see their 'fight'.

Ikkaku challenged Renji for a fight with their zanpakuto's in which Renji pointed out that their zanpakutos were confiscated and they were above a massive crowd.

But Ikkaku had a better idea, as he eyed an unranked shinigami hurrying around with a huge white cake.

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_White Chocolate cake: $350_

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"Hey, you!" he called out.

The new shinigami jumped then rushed to the third-seat.

"I would be taking that cake now, thank you."

"B-but I have to get the cake to the reception that Kuchiki-taicho planned and he ordered me and-" the unranked one babbled.

But Ikkaku would have none of it.

"Are you defying your superior?" he asked with a steely glare.

When the unranked didn't answer, Ikkaku grabbed the top most cake layer, and threw it.

It hit Renji square in the face.

Renji used a hand to wipe off all the cake, and threw the leftover at the laughing Ikkaku.

It hit him on his bald head.

Then an all out cake war began.

But surprisingly no cake fell on to the play people, until one badly aimed shot fell short.

And the cake war abruptly ended.

Of course nobody saw the piece of cake, except for Toushirou.

He however did something very un-Toushirou; he panicked.

Then he did something he lived to regret.

He ran, yes not shunpo but ran, on to the stage.

Apparently his shoes slipped on the ground, and he went flying into Matsumoto's legs.

She fell on top of him but grabbed the long chain of can-canners in return.

The effect was like a domino's chain, until the last one grabbed the curtain in an attempt to hold herself up.

Then the curtain fell down, the entire stage curtain.

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_100 yards of red velvet: $250_

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Toushirou looked up from under a bewildered Matsumoto, and saw eyes, all of them, staring at the space above him.

It was Ikkaku and Renji, who were laughing so hard they pushed off a camera that was now dangling by its cord.

They didn't notice the wires snapping, and of course the entire light station came crashing down to the stage.

Luckily no one was injured within the square outline.

Then a squeaking rusty noise of a pulley happened.

And There he was, Yumichika clad in his angel costume, arms spread wide and voice high and sing-songy , and with his head held high, belted out the words that would put everyone to shame,

"All's well, that ends well!"

_Silence._

Then an earth-shattering roar of applause.

"Bravo!"

"Burn!"

"Epic!"

"Fail!"

"Awesome!" and many more.

And the worst part? They were all looking at Toushirou when they said that.

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_Having every member of your audience stand up and point and laugh at you: Priceless_

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_There are some things money can't buy. _

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"...but for others use your citi bank master credit card." actual quote. sorry for the lateness and any mistakes i made are mine, but feel free to point them out.

**MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!(or whatever else you celebrate!) and a HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!**


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